The stage was set. Under clear skies, Saturday, May 23, 2015 was a beautiful 79 degrees with 42% humidity and a dew point of 43 degrees. In other words, ideal weather for throwing 6″ x 6″ duck canvas bags filled with exactly 2 cups of corn feed a distance of 27 feet. It was the 2015 Gnoso Cornhole Classic.
Playing in accordance with American Cornhole Association rules with a modified 15 point game, 14 teams started the double-elimination tournament in search of one thing; total cornhole domination. It would take a total of 27 competitive cornhole matches before a champion would be crowned. Over the course the day, 5 teams would be eliminated in straight losses, 3 teams would win as many as the lost, 1 team would battle through the Loser’s Bracket and rack up 5 wins but eventually, it would come down to only 2 teams. The Hammondators and The Corn Chuckers. Although The Hammondators suffered a loss at the corn dust covered hands of the The Corn Chuckers in the semi-finals, because it was their first loss, The Hammondators would have the opportunity to battle back through the Loser’s Bracket to win a seat at the big table.
The Final Bracket
“Sure, the earlier loss to The Corn Chuckers and their professional matching jerseys was on our minds when we entered the Finals, but we knew this was judgement day. We came to throw down,” said Vicky from the Hammondators. And throw down, they did. In the Finals, the Hammondators brought the crowd to their feet with a decisive 15-6 victory. This victory meant each team had a victory over the other, so it went to a extra tie-break match. Vicky and Matt, filled with corn courage, stared down The Corn Chuckers and kept that corn-train rolling, sealing their position as Grand Champions with a 15-4 win over The Corn Chuckers.
“We threw well, but today, The Hammondators threw better,” said John from The Corn Chuckers. “We’ll just train harder,” he concluded. True to his word, John left the very next morning for West Virginia to practice throwing at higher elevations.
Special thanks to those dedicated professionals who refereed the matches, to Kathy for ensuring all of the competitors were well-fed and well-hydrated and a cool little online app called Challonge that we discovered and used to manage the tournament. We salute all who played, all who cheered and especially the 2015 Gnoso Cornhole Classic Grand Champions, The Hammondators. Well thrown.
Here is a complete list of the 2015 Gnoso Cornhole Classic Teams and their final standings.
The Hammondators
GRAND CHAMPIONS
Vicky & Matt
Part programmable social media assassin, part futuristic data transpondster, this legally united duo of Vicky and Matt are one-hundred percent ready to terminate any team that falls into their bracket. For some this tournament is a chance to get together with friends. For The Hammondators, it’s judgement day.
The Corn Chuckers
2ND PLACE
John & Taylor
There is only one answer to the question “who is the corniest father and son team around?” and it’s John and Taylor. A corny combination of pure maize machismo, these two can pluck, shuck and chuck corn with unmatched power and precision.
Maize Runners
3RD PLACE
Annie & Harrison
In a post-corn-alyptic dystopian society where your life depends upon your ability to navigate an ever changing tournament bracket, Annie and Harrison aren’t just variables in some experiment, they are the real deal. On game day, they’ll make their stand, once and for all.
The Salsa Slingers
4TH PLACE
Lauren & Celeste
Whether tossing hot salsa to Theron or cornhole bags in heated battle, the mother and daughter team of Celeste and Lauren are no strangers to delivering their goods right on target. If you thought Lauren has a monster laptop, just wait till you see her monster toss.
Game of Corns
5TH – TIED
Peter & Linda
Peter of the House of Waldschmidt, first of his name and father of NCover and Linda of the House of Lindstrom, wife of Peter and Queen Mother of the Golden Star Kingdom, have forged an alliance in pursuit of total corn domination. For those who dare challenge, be warned, winter is coming.
The Dream Team
5TH – TIED
Kathy & Donya
Considered by some to be the Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen of cornhole, this mother daughter duo of Kathy and Donya are playing with their collective eyes on the prize. The top prize, that is. For those who throw down across this duo with hopes of winning, dream on.
Corn Dawgs
7TH – TIED
Drew & Alex
Just like the complete meal their namesake delivers, the brothers Drew and Alex are ready to deliver a cornhole game that would bring even the best meat-on-a-stick treat to shame. When they bring the heat, know the competition is about to be served.
Team Thunderstruck
7TH – TIED
Andrea & Montgomery
Caught in the middle of a cornhole tract, there is no way this mother and son team are looking back. Andrea and Montgomery are teaming up with the promise of breaking all the limits and leaving their competition shaking at the knees. You’ll know when you’ve been thunderstruck.
Granum Statim
9TH – TIED
Miriam & Seth
Miriam , the neo-grain-al practitioner who defies the corn odds, and Seth , who is a well known lightweight bae around BJU, will be giving a dose of corn bag medicine to all of those who dare cross their toss. 464 CCs of corn to be delivered, stat.
The Buckeye’s
9TH – TIED
Don & Don, Sr.
Hailing from Florida and driving all the way to Greenville just for this tournament, Don, Sr. will join his son Don with the goal of driving through this tournament like a big rig without brakes. You’d have to be nuts to get in their way.
The Burrito Bushwackers
9TH – TIED
Kaitlyn & Emily
Bringing the type of intense guerrilla warfare tactics that only a sister team can muster, Kaitlyn and Emily are joining forces to free all contested cornhole boards from the tyranny of other teams. Be warned, this band of sisters is not afraid to drop the burrito.
The Dragon Riders
9TH – TIED
Lance & Jordan
Among the corn bag throwing dragons of Greenville, the father and son team of Lance and Jordan stand apart and plan to soar over the competition with ease. Although the dragons they ride may be toothless, take heed in knowing that this team brings quite the bite.
Team Slackajack
13TH – TIED
Russell & Poppy
Don’t be fooled by their floppy ears and their lanky arms and legs, the father and daughter duo of Russell and Poppy is ready to toss their bags. Although at first glance this perky-eared pair seems easy to love, when the corn is down, they can hop to it.
Team Yoshi
13TH – TIED
Erin and Charlie
The Super Yoshi World mother and son team of Erin and Charlie will use their prehensile powers to deliver their corn bags right on target. This distinctive dinosaur duo has plans to flutter jump over the competition, leaving only spotted eggs behind.